


let’s join forces (we’ve got our guns and horses)

by atlantisairlock



Series: Hello Operator, Please Give Me Number Nine Nine [5]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Case Fic, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gina Linetti Is Awesome, Team Dynamics, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 10:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3566348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/atlantisairlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Um, no, Jake Peralta did not steal a lunch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let’s join forces (we’ve got our guns and horses)

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'guns and horses' by ellie goulding.

**_THIRD YEAR MOCK PAPER SECTION II : ADVANCED BIOLOGY_ **

_Q5) Discuss in depth the roles of the amygdala and parahippocampal gyrus in relation to the suspicion that Jake Peralta stole the lunchbox._

\---

"Peralta!"

Oh yeah, that is  _exactly_ how Jake wants his day to begin. He adjusts his collar quickly before he does a hundred-eighty on his heel, leaning against the lockers with a grin. Or at least that's what he plans, because he trips over his shoelace and nearly crashes face-first onto the floor. Nearly. Jake scrabbles quickly at the lockers, pulling himself to his feet and flashing a sheepish smile at the source of the voice. "What _upppp_ , Santiago?"

She comes up  _way_ too close for comfort, jabbing her index finger against his ribs so hard he almost whimpers. Amy Santiago is glaring at him like he's just committed the cardinal sin of dropping the Oxford comma. "Did you steal my lunch?!"

Jake blinks, squints at Amy and blinks again. The question isn't computing. Is this why she's got him shoved up against the lockers, looking every bit like she's about to snap his neck? "Lunch?"

"Yes! My lunch! I had it right at my feet minutes ago, and then I looked up to open my locker and get some of my textbooks and dust around a bit, and when I shut my locker again it was  _gone!_ Did you take it?"  _  
_

He's about to collapse dramatically and cry injustice, but the tears brimming in Amy's eyes are enough to make him stand a little straighter and raise his hands. "Woah. Amy, I swear upon my entire collection of  _Die Hard_ DVDs that I did not steal your lunch. I didn't even  _see_ your lunch. I would never do something like that, I promise."

Thankfully, the sag in Amy's shoulders shows that she believes him. She nods miserably, her hands dropping to her sides. "I believe you, Jake," she says with a sniffly sigh. "You're immature and annoying, but... I don't believe you'd steal my lunch and then lie about it after seeing my panic." Amy furiously blinks away tears. "It's just... it was in a new lunchbox. My dad gave it to me for my birthday, and it's really, really important to me."

Jake's about to cross his heart and tell Amy he'll find it for her when Charles bounds into the corridor. "Hey Jake! Hey Amy!" He beams widely, oblivious to what just went down. He rushes to his locker beside Jake's, fiddling with the combination, determination in his eyes. Jake's brow furrows. "Charles, don't you have class in five minutes?"

"Yeah! I have first period Home Ec, but I forgot about the bag of farro I needed for today's recipe. I left it in my locker," Charles explains as he reaches into his locker without looking where he's putting his hands. One accidental shove and five plastic jars come toppling off a shelf, crashing onto the ground and spilling their contents in a spectacular display. 

Only it's not just jars full of condiments. Out comes a hardy tin lunchbox with a transparent lid, landing on the floor with a solid bang. Both Amy and Jake look at it for a second before Amy lets out a yell. "Charles! That's my lunchbox!" There's a disbelieving look on her face when she stares at a thoroughly bewildered Charles. "You took my lunchbox?!"

 

 

**_FIRST YEAR COMPREHENSION PRACTICE EXERCISE : ENGLISH LANGUAGE_ **

_Q8b) Find a word/phrase in the passage that means "colossally bad timing, the world hates you"._

\---

Nobody knows why a senior suddenly walks into the corridor with a bunch of bug-eyed freshmen and sophomores behind her, or why she picks up on that. She stops when she hears Amy's cry; Jake frowns and the name  _Madeleine Wunch_ comes to mind. Wunch folds her arms and stares Charles down. " _Charles Boyle_ stole your lunchbox?"

Amy blinks, mouth open. In hindsight, the words were out of her mouth before she'd actually processed them. Charles is her friend; she's a hundred percent certain it's either a mix-up or someone's trying to mess with him. She's about to clarify this, to say something, but this is high school, and there's a malicious glint in Wunch's eye, and it's already too late. Wunch's entourage is already buzzing amongst themselves, and Charles has an expression of shock-horror-confusion on his face, and Wunch is swanning out of the corridor with a smirk, followed by her troupe.

Jake watches them go before he turns to Charles and Amy.

"I'm sorry, what just  _happened?"_

"Why is this in my locker?" Charles bleats after Jake, picking it up in both hands and handing it to Amy, who shrugs helplessly. "Oh no..."

 

 

**_FIRST YEAR DIAGNOSTIC TEST : PHYSICS I_ **

_Q3) Which of the following two options moves at a faster speed?_

_A. Light._

_B. The Brooklyn High rumour mill._

\---

By second period, the 'scandalous news' is all anyone can talk about. Cooking extraordinaire teen prodigy Charles Boyle is,  _gasp,_ a thief! If the situation wasn't this serious, Amy thinks she could even be impressed by how effective communication via word-of-mouth can be within a contained environment. But right now Charles is being maligned, and the fact that he  _still_ doesn't fully comprehend what's going on makes Amy even angrier at whoever framed him. None of their little team believe that Charles stole Amy's lunchbox; it's unthinkable.  _  
_

"We need to fix this," Rosa growls when they meet up by the lockers before third period. She's glaring daggers at the three jocks pointing at Charles, who's safely surrounded by his five best friends. They actually have the  _nerve_ to be whispering. "If I hear one more person use the words  _Charles_ and  _thief_ in the same sentence, I am going to put these to good use." Cue makeshift knuckledusters. Amy gulps.  _  
_

"Well, that means we have to find out who  _actually_ stole Amy's lunchbox and put it in Charles' locker," Terry says with a frown on his face. "That way, we can clear his name."

Jake nods. Despite the gravity of the issue, he has a huge grin on his face. "Do you know what this means?"

" _Jake,_ " Amy groans, but it's lost to his fist-pump and triumphant shout. "We have a  _case!"_

 

 

**_ACTIVITY SHEET 3A : LOGIC & PHILOSOPHY_ **

_P1: If Charles did not steal the lunchbox, then someone else stole the lunchbox._

_P2: Charles did not steal the lunchbox._

_C: Someone else stole the lunchbox. (1,2)_

\---

Naturally, Amy and Terry get together during their first free period to puzzle it out in the most logical way they know how. Amy has a notebook out and is busy penning down anything relevant.

"The corridor the lockers are situated in is the only way students can access the basketball and netball courts, which means that people who have first period PE had the opportunity to swipe my lunchbox and toss it into Charles' locker on the way to the courts."

Terry spoons more yogurt into his mouth, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. "The corridor doesn't lead anywhere else, either - only to the main alley or the courts. Anyone whose locker isn't in the corridor, or doesn't have first period PE, is suspicious - they wouldn't have any reason to  _be_ in the corridor except if..." 

"Good point," Amy concedes, and writes that down too. She flips to the next page, heading it 'Suspects'. "Who do we know would want to frame Charles?" 

"Wunch?" 

"Could be. She was in the corridor, too. At a suspiciously apt timing to...  _overhear_ my 'accusation'. Should we start with her?" 

"Amy, are you actually planning to do interrogations?" 

"Of course! Right now!" The bell rings, and Amy's face falls. "Or... after Algebra, I suppose."

 

 

**_SECOND YEAR ESSAY PAPER : NATIONAL HISTORY (REGIONAL)_ **

_Write a three-page essay on one of the three options below._

_A. The greatest crime committed in Brooklyn._

_B. Brooklyn's greatest mystery._

_C. The Brooklyn native who clocked the most hours of detention in freshman year._

\---

Jake's so busy dusting for fingerprints and poking around Charles' locker that he doesn't even notice the insistent tapping behind him until it's a bit too late. He looks up and manages a weak smile while lifting a sooty fingerprint off the shelf surface. "Vice Principal Boone!"

"Indeed," he answers, staring at Jake. "And what do you think you happen to be doing?" 

"I'm investigating a case, sir! It's very important." Jake stands and brings himself to full height, smiling as genuinely as he can. 

"Do you not have Phys Ed this period, Peralta?"

Jake's grin rapidly becomes falser. "No?"

Boone fixes a solid stare on him. "Detention, Peralta. You will serve it during your next free period."

The bell rings, and Jake's face falls. "That's right  _now,_ sir." His best puppy-dog face doesn't work on the vice principal. Jake groans and grabs his fingerprinting kit, following Boone into his office, and well away from the scene of the crime.

 

 

**_THIRD YEAR ENRICHMENT ACTIVITY : ECONS (STATS)_ **

_Q2i) Calculate the probability of Rosa Diaz threatening you in the hallways on an average day._

_Q2ii) Calculate the probability of Rosa Diaz threatening you in the hallways when her best friend has been framed._

_Q2iii) Plot both graphs on the same grid._

\---

For Rosa, her way of solving the case is straightforward, to say the least. She takes one look at Amy's list, memorises it, and then starts storming around the school to find each and every person she can. Within the span of her hour-long free period, Rosa's wrung any information she can out of almost fifteen people. 

Unfortunately, beyond the identity of a few prominent drug dealers and the answers for next week's French mock, she doesn't have any useful information. No clue as to who stole Amy's lunchbox and tossed it into Charles' locker. Sure, some people could be lying, but the six months she's spent in Brooklyn High have already given her a reputation. Only the very stupid or very brave lie to Rosa when she's on the warpath. Most of the liars are stupid, which means any information they have is probably useless anyway.

She's glaring a sophomore punk in the eye when the bell rings. Rosa swears and jabs him hard in the arm. "If you're lying to me, I swear, I will mess you up  _so hard_ you won't be able to talk for a week." 

And then she rushes off to French before she misses anything. One can be a badass, Rosa thinks, without skipping her damn classes. 

 

 

**_HIGHER CREATIVE WRITING: LITERATURE B_ **

_Q10) Write a 500-word short story revolving around the theme of failure._

\---

The team meet up again during lunch break to discuss their findings. Charles gives his own ideas, Jake lays out some fingerprint samples, Amy runs through the list of suspects, Rosa nulls some of Amy's suggestions with her own information and Terry condenses the general possibilities to all of them. For all of that, though, they still don't know much more than they did five hours ago.

"We need to  _do_ something; it's been five periods and we still aren't any further than we were in the morning." Amy sighs, frustrated. "If this goes on, Charles' rep will  _really_ be ruined. People like Wunch are pouncing on this and taking every opportunity to trash him. Just because he's got loads of talent where none of them do." 

Charles nods sadly as they all murmur, before Jake lifts his head and frowns. "Hey, where's Gina?"

 

 

**_FOURTH YEAR EXTRA CREDIT : GEOGRAPHY_ **

_Craft a multimedia presentation and four-page report on one of the Seven Wonders of the World:_

_\- The Great Pyramids of Giza._  
- _The Hanging Gardens of Babylon._  
_\- The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus._  
_\- The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus._  
_\- The Lighthouse of Alexandria._  
_\- The Colossus of Rhodes._  
_\- Gina Linetti._

\---

In the end, for all of their dedicated, nitty-gritty detective work, for all of the interrogations Terry procures, for all of the simulations Amy tries to see how the robbery might have been conducted, for all of Jake's Sherlock Holmes-esque deductions with Charles by his side... Gina's the one who solves the case. She bounds into the one class they all share ten minutes late, passes the teacher an official-looking note and takes a seat by Jake. 

"I solved the case," Gina says to him halfway through the lesson, when he's trying to understand the bizarre chemistry equations on the board. Jake chokes and makes a most unseemly noise that's someway between a snort and a scream, and manages to mask it with a bout of coughing when half the class turns to stare at him. " _What?_ "

"I'll tell you all how I did it after class," Gina replies, obviously savouring her moment.

And savour it she does - she refuses to say a word until they're sitting on the school track, drinking celebratory exotic mocktails that Charles whipped up in the kitchens partly as a show of gratitude, partly just so Gina'd  _tell them already._ She explains it within the span of ten seconds, which is a little anticlimactic for Jake and Charles, and just plain confusing for Amy. 

"How'd you  _do_ that?" Amy asks again, obviously still unable to comprehend the simplicity in the methods Gina employed. Gina's lying on the grass, sunglasses on her face as she grins smugly at Amy. She props herself up on one arm and lowers her sunnies dramatically. "Look, I have many, many contacts in the school, for reasons apparent. Some people know  _everything_ that happens on campus, Amy - who's selling weed at the best prices, who Sophia Perez is going out with, the best spots in school to get a quick hand - "

Terry clears his throat pointedly. Gina sniffs, but carries on. "So naturally, I just employed my natural charm and got one of my little informants to tell me who stole your little lunchie. Turns out it was Pembroke; he has a thing against, like, _all_ the frosh, especially Charlie - because Charlie's got talent and Pembroke has none. Went to Principal Holt, did a bit of a sob show, he dragged the Vulture into his office and gave him that glare; you know the one.  _Voila,_ he's shaking in his ugly-ass boots and falling over himself to confess." She spreads her arms and looks up at the sky, bowing deeply. "And so once again, the Linetti genius has prevailed." 

For once, all of them are in agreement about that, and impressed to boot. Amy shakes her head, still disappointed that her efforts amounted to little more than nothing, but what's important is that she has her lunchbox and Charles' name has been cleared. Gina took the opportunity to spread the counter-rumour, only this time it was accompanied by Principal Holt's stern punishment and the satisfying taste of truth. 

"Cheers!" Charles says with a huge smile on his face. "Thanks for working so hard to clear my name, guys. You're the best friends I could ask for."

"Yeah! Go Nine Nine!" Jake yells, punching his fist in the air. "Case closed!"

"Go Nine Nine!" They echo and clink glasses. They've solved a case, they've cleared Charles' name, and all is well. It's a good day.


End file.
